Postmodern Toolbox- May 13, 2008 -- Entry 2

Another profound class.

Anna went over verses from Zecheriah—declaring a double-bonus and "from now on, people are my swords”… and discussing warfare over Greece (where we get a lot of western thought). And Ezekial 2 and 3. She discussed the differences of signs, symbols and icons and showed a clip of a Mondrian documentary, claiming that his work was very prophetic in light of the digital age to come after him.

Seeing the opening moments of “Trainspotting,” although hard to take on one level, was indeed very evocative of how addicts process life once they’ve chosen drugs over their own life. To hear the story about how a former class responded to these moments indicates how polarizing raw “truth” can be and how opposite responses can both reflect the Father’s heart.

Anna reminded us that some of us will be called to go into those desperate, ugly places. We may be the only ones who will touch certain hurting people in that deep, soul place, shedding light and offering the hope of deliverance from the darkness.

I’m not surprised that Anna’s former class responded the way they did—how one father’s heart wanted to shield his daughter from the ugliness he sees every day on the job. And how another father’s heart was to go after his daughter, no matter where it took him – and shine the light in the darkness with the hope of getting her out of it and warning others of its danger.

It’s one thing for Anna to have to endure both responses in one class; it’s another for her to have the discernment to understand what the Lord was showing her within this seemingly ironic situation. The Lord uses so many things to speak to us—we just need to listen, and as she said on Day 1, we shouldn’t compartmentalize our lives because He can use literally anything to teach us. If we don’t realize that, we can miss some of what He says to us.

In Psalm 91, “deep calls unto deep.” It’s the soul-place of you. We’re wired for “deep.” That’s cool. It also explains why a lot of people heavily medicate themselves when they don’t get “deep” from what’s around them.

Anna’s view of Derrida was interesting—equating his deconstructionist views as having perhaps stemmed from a deep DNA connection to the tribe of Israel and its ability to continue to “spit itself out” of oppressive constructs. The Lord has placed the ability to decipher constructs within those who are grafted in as well, so the “tribe” survives.

I don’t really have issues with what Derrida’s views are, but because I feel he doesn’t explain his views well, I still want to slap him! I don’t have time to re-read everything he says 3 times when if he had just been clearer and more linear in the first place, I could have understood it relatively quickly. I have no respect for someone who can’t be clear—even if that’s sort of the point of their ideology.

It also makes me wonder about why it doesn’t bother him to come up with a view, then state it so vaguely that it’s very possible people could miss the intentionality or the significance. It goes against everything I learned in Catholic school about how to structure your writing—you want to be read to be understood. I guess unless you’re a deconstructionist.

So then why should I care about what they say, if they’re not concerned that I understand? I know Anna says the Lord is setting something up with all this, but from my viewpoint, I can’t wait for this phase to be over. Yes, I think it’s a phase because I don’t believe deconstructionism or postmodernism is sustainable.

But that would be just like a modernist to say that. Give me my absolutes back!

I found Anna’s definition of “tribe” surprising, as I’ve never thought of it as a disparaging term which was given to a “primitive group” from an imperialistic group. I thought people groups always saw “Us” versus “them” and that if you know which side you belong to, it can be a mixed blessing. Before my Arvon experience-- well, it's a long story—but in essence, last year, I finally experienced a deeply bonding with 15 other songwriting students, after years wishing to belong to a tribe of sorts. This desire grew out of what was modeled to me in my immediate family—that blood is NOT thicker than water, but that you can have profound familial-type relationships with people on other levels. I feel I have very little in common with my blood relatives and so I’ve looked to more social ways to connect with people—through a common belief, a common appreciation of a particular art form or piece of art, or a bonding experience. My desire has also unfortunately come from a distrust of the Christian community and the dangers of getting too close to them in this life(remember the shepherding movement?). Once we get to heaven, everything will be worked out, but for now—well, I tend to keep my distance.

My very recent interest in genealogy has grown out of watching the BBC series “Who Do You Think You Are” which my husband bought for me last month. The stories of various celebrities and their search for records of their ancestors has intrigued me. Some of the celebrities on the show have thought that their family was one thing, but it turned out to be another—one lady thought she was working class English through and through, and then found out she was actually from middle to upper class families. Another thought they were English, but only went back 2 generations on both sides of the family to find that their grandparents were actually from Germany, but they hadn’t wanted to admit it in the climate of anti-German sentiment during WWI. Gurinder Chadha was able to find records that dated her family back to a particular region of India 4000 years ago! She’s British, but being able to know where her people came from (and where they lived for so long), seems to me at this point in my life to be a neat idea.

I’ve been looking at genealogy, not as a way to get closer to my family but more as a means to explain my anglophilia—to explain why I feel more at home over there, and what it may mean for my future. My husband says I visibly AM different over there, so I wonder about why that may be, and what the Lord would do about it—especially at age 46. And am I completely wrong about where I feel my roots are? What does it mean for me as a Christian and who I am to reach while I’m on this planet?

Yet, I believe-- to the English, despite my anglo-roots and DNA which could trace me to that land, the fact that my ancestors chose to leave negates my right to call myself truly English. I’m afraid I’ll always be regarded as an American to them…. So what do I do with that? Can that be a blessing in disguise?

When I was a child and the concept of countries and nations was explained to me, as soon as I was told the story of how America relates to England, I have never felt that we should be here. In spite of all the “good” things America stands for, what we did to indigenous peoples of this nation I find troubling. I feel that Canada had a better response to the whole King George thing. Canada wasn’t quite as rebellious as the United States and has a closer relationship to the motherland as a result.

Anna says we have “a Boaz anointing.” I have no reason to doubt that, but I’m unfamiliar with the term as it relates to the USA and it makes me wonder what Canada’s and England’s biblical roles are and how people know that. England was ahead of us in abolishing slavery. Those who came to America seeking religious freedom were coming from the UK as well as other places, so England played a tremendous direct role in the spread of Christianity, but along with her imperialistic past, she unfortunately remains sheepishly embarrassed by it all today. And I guess I can understand why.

A lot of bad happened with the good.

So, there is a lot for me still to reckon with, when I think to accomplish these “good” tasks, we disregarded and crushed the cultures of those who were already here.

I liked how Anna said you need to keep your ear to the ground—don’t separate yourself from what’s around you. You will be very limited in what you can do if you stay in an ivory tower.

I told my friend Roy Petersen (who now lives in England) I’m taking this class. He told me to say “Hey,” to Anna since he went to Regent about the time Anna did. So, Anna—Roy says “Hey!” :>

He also says you need to write a book about all that you’re telling us in class!

I agree.